Last week was Thanksgiving - an American holiday I wholeheartedly embrace & have come to love! Tasty turkey & pumpkin pie, & the excuse to hang with friends mid-week - what's not to enjoy?
Here is one of our dear friends & generous hosts - Courtney - & the turkey she perfected..
Thanksgiving is a milestone we are pleased to have passed, as it marked in our minds the anticipated arrival of the twins. Around these calendar days we expected either (a) 2 little bundles depriving us of sleep or (b) 1 enormous belly depriving me of sleep. Either away, we miss every part of the picture.
I've found it important to not let my mind wander too often in the direction of how life could be right now had things gone smoothly. Life is busy & full & we are delighting in so much of it! But I did want to acknowledge this particular time of the year.
Days of significance deepen our experience of loss & my icky questions circle around more frequently...
I don't know why I'm here writing about loss, instead of deliriously describing a new baby's fingers & toes.
I don't know why we're having to wait to experience the joy of being new parents.
I don't know why others sail through pregnancy with ease.
I don't know why Jack & Lucy can't be here in our family.
Being a follower of God hasn't given me the answers to a lot of our questions. Instead, it's given me Jesus. I don't say that lightly or as a cliche. I wander from this truth daily & have to bring myself back - "I have Jesus".
He is more than enough to fill the void of unanswered questions; to carry the weight of my anxiety; to bring joy through times of sadness; & offer true hope in our bleakest days. He has come like a light in the darkness & I am thankful.
xx
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4 comments:
Mike Taylor said...
Hi Cassie,
Great post with some really heart breaking questions.
I thought of you the other day when I heard this great talk on Philippians 4 one of my favourite parts in the bible as I think it is a challenge to praise God for both sides of life like Paul.
I like how the preacher defined contentment as being: disposable to God's plans alone.
I recently in my struggles have been enjoying meditating on Corrie Ten Boom quotes:
“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”
― Corrie ten Boom
“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.”
― Corrie ten Boom
“Hold everything in your hands lightly, otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open.”
― Corrie ten Boom
“This is what the past is for! Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our lives is the perfect preparation for the future that only He can see.”
― Corrie ten Boom, The Hiding Place
“If you look at the world, you’ll be distressed. If you look within, you’ll be depressed. If you look at God you’ll be at rest.”
― Corrie ten Boom
Love and prayers
Pip
ps: I have some banana's that need using for baking purposes I am going to try your recipe!
OH, Cass! We are so sorry--but know that we continue to pray for you. God has the answers and he will def. bless you!!! I'm so glad that you continue to remind yourself that you have Jesus!! Praying for you:) <3
Dear Cass - your why questions have really touched me and have made me realise that my "why" questions are very shallow and in all of this regardless of circumstances I still have Jesus.
love,
A Kaye
xxx
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